This being Friday and all we thought we’d end the week on a funny note while providing you with some pointers on losing your job. After all there’s no shortage of advice on workplace success; a quick Google search will get you tons of information. But what if that’s not what you’re interested in? Forget the promotions and the raises, you’re done with all that. What you want is out! Well, this article is for you; if you’re looking to get canned then read on as we present 10 ways to rid yourself of that pesky job of yours and embark on a new journey. The exciting field of unemployment.
- Name calling: While on the phone—this should be often—and your boss comes by to see you, say that you have to go because the jerk just walked up. This can be very endearing and will likely win you a special place in their heart.
- Inappropriate pranks: Hankering for a fresh grilled burger or dog during the week? Go ahead and throw an office barbeque. Inside the office. That charcoal grill scent might just liven up the atmosphere around an otherwise dead office setting.
- Social media ignorance: Yes, it’s perfectly acceptable to post incriminating or inappropriate things on Twitter or Facebook. Nobody ever looks at that stuff anyway.
- Unchecked honesty: Remove the mental filter most of us are born with and start talking. Bosses and supervisors love to hear that they couldn’t manage their way out of a pile of newborn kittens, or that they have the personality of gravel dust. Say it like you mean it too.
- Unwise Internet usage: There are some who feel this is should be avoided, but in many places surfing for adult content at work is perfectly acceptable way to spend your workday.
- Casual punctuality: Arrive and leave work on a whim; no one will question you on what really should be considered a basic worker’s right.
- Office imbibing: When the bartender asks if you’ve decided on that third lunch martini you say, ‘Hit me!’ It is widely known that alcohol can make the rockiest of office settings as smooth as silk.
- Inordinate chattiness: Closely related to #3 and #5 above, chat room usage while on the clock can aid in developing social interaction skills highly prized in any work environment.
- Bringing napping supplies: Setting up primo napping space at work can go a long way toward improving your productivity. Think about it, after a big one hour lunch there’s nothing better than a good 30 minute power nap to help you get through the rest of the day.
- Running commentaries: Whether live during a meeting or through lengthy company-wide emails, making known your opinions on company policies, or management decisions is a sure fire way way to win the hearts and minds of your boss and coworkers.
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